she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
