I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
