I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
time to smoke my breakfast
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
