so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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