Cold hands, warm shart.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
