Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize