she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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