My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
