Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
