There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
