I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
