VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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