I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
