Only a mothe r could love this liver
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
