I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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