Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
