20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
