There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
