wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
