I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My liver just had a heart attack.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
