At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
