i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
