RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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