I got chris browned last night
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
