I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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