I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
