I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
