Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
All I want is dick and wine.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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