what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We left the knife in your bed.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize