I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
