Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I have aggressive nipples.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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