So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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