Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
