Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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