If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
