brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
