How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
