HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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