Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Farmville is her only friend.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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