Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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