You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
