When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
