Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
