my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
