We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize