i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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