When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
my sisters under your porch take her home
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
