I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I came so hard my ears popped.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize