What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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