I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Randomize
