im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I will be naked everywhere
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
