First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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