ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
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