i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
