Just fell off a train. Bad.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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