Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
