oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
