just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wish i was in the wii world.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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