My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
