Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
