Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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